OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
