I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
