He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
It was confusing and full of hummus
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
