Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
