He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize