VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
