it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
