Have you finally orgasmed yet?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
