is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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