I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
