Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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