How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
