Christians are straight up FREAKS
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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