Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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