You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
time to smoke my breakfast
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
