I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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