i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
