nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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