so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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