am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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