You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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