he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
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