Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
