I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
