We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
