I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
