i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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