you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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