i need an iv and a liver transplant
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
a search helicopter?!
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize