All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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