First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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