Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
People with herpes should wear stickers.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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