well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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