Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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