the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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