There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
