She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize