no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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