whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
