Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
