We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
