Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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