youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
