Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
