i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
