Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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