I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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