Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
