Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
there is puke in my bra ... again
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
