I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
