was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
soo... how was my night?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
