wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize
