My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
