Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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