Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
