We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Two words: blizzard sex
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
