Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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