Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
