I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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