drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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