Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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