did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
