Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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